The Day Bonnie Got Kidnapped By Aliens
by Kingstriker
Summary: Anthro AU. In this stupid and fiery adventure, Bonnie tells his friends about an event that happened last night where he's kidnapped by evil alien cupcakes that are, according to the others, bent on taking all the world's pizza, though Bonnie thinks it's a dream. But when Freddy sees the aliens taking his baby brother Golden, he plans to stop the madness while Foxy gets a date!


_**Welcome all to a new FNAF fic of mine, however this one is a complete parody. With South Park being one of my all-time favorite TV shows, I thought about parodying the very first episode with a FNAF version. I did this same thing with Transformers but I wanted to see how these guys could handle it. Now then, if you're not a fan of South Park then this may confuse you, BUT I WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY! Just something random to write to be honest just because I like to do stories you know? If I'm not playing a bunch of video games then I'm doing this stuff...AND DEALING WITH COLLEGE GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR! God I can't wait until Christmas, and then next summer!**_

 _ **Plushtrap: Do you need a rant-stopping slap?**_

 _ **Me: No I'm good.**_

 _ **Plushtrap: Aw.**_

 _ **By the way did you guys hear about FNAF World? I haven't played many RPGs but I'm definitely playing this! Being able to control all the characters in "Adventure" forms is pretty sweet. That explains why the characters in the "Thank You" image on Scott's website have been changing everyday. Good luck making it Scott!**_

 ** _Now_** ** _enjoy the parody!_**

* * *

The Day Bonnie Got Kidnapped By Aliens

The young anthro Fazbear gang known as Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy were waiting for the bus to come and were busy singing. It was a rather hot day and the gang were hoping the air conditioners were working this time in the elementary school. Though none of them were prepared for what was going to happen today.

"Five Nights at Freddy's, is this where you wanna be I just don't get it, why do you want to stay, Five Nights at-"

The gang was rudely interrupted by Freddy's baby brother Golden whose real name was Fredbear, ironically named after the city they lived in.

"AH DAMN IT! My little brother is trying to follow me to school again." Freddy face-palmed.

"FWEDDY!" Fredbear clung to his leg.

Freddy started to shake him off.

"No Golden, you got to stop trying to come to school with me. It's getting very annoying and YOU KNOW IT!" Freddy growled.

"Jeez dude calm down, it's not like he's-HEY GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE PUNK!"

Golden climbed on Bonnie's back and jumped to bite him on the forehead before jumping off. Bonnie went to grab him but Freddy quickly hid Golden behind him and stopped Bonnie from advancing.

"THAT WAS MY FOREHEAD YOU-"

"ENOUGH BONNIE!" Freddy growled.

"Has the lad been watching that footage from 1987 event about that bite incident?" Foxy asked.

"I don't think so."

"Oh yeah that, I know everything about it, even the stuff they hid from us!" Bonnie scoffed.

"No you don't!" Freddy shook his head.

"Yes I do!"

"Okay tell us!"

"...Uh...I'm not telling you."

Foxy nudged Chica who seemed to be daydreaming.

"Hey Chica, how much do ye know about it?" Foxy asked.

"I'm sorry what? I was thinking about pizza!" Chica said.

Golden tried to walk over to Bonnie again who cracked his knuckles.

"If you even try..."

Freddy angrily grabbed Golden's feet and used his head as a bat to knock Bonnie on the ground hard.

"OW!" Bonnie whined.

"Whoa, that was cool!" Foxy said.

"I know right, check this one out, READY GOLDEN? KICK THE BABY!"

"Don't kick me!" Golden whined.

But Freddy kicks him anyways and he goes flying across the street smacking into a mailbox. Bonnie gets up and yawns.

"Looks like ye didn't get much sleep last night Bon!" Foxy said.

"That's cause I was having this bogus nightmare." Bonnie rubbed his head.

"Really? What about?" Freddy asked.

"Well ya see what happen was...I dreamed about lying in my bed last night..."

 _Bonnie is asleep is his room when suddenly some big blue light crashes through his window and covers his whole room. Bonnie awakens to find himself being surrounded by 3 very large cupcakes. Sticking out from their sides were large arms and sharp claws made out of icing. The one in the middle was holding a wooden bat. Before Bonnie could scream, the cupcake suddenly swung the bat down to knock him out. Next thing Bonnie could see were the cupcakes dragging him to their ship, then down a long hallway. Upon reaching a certain room, they place Bonnie on a table where he screams as he is suddenly probed with some alien device._

"They had sharp claws, and flames on their candles that never went out and-"

"DUDE CUPCAKE ALIENS!" Foxy yelled.

"What?" Bonnie was confused.

"Yeah dude, you weren't dreaming, they were real! They come down sometimes to study, kidnap and possibly DESTROY ALL OF OUR PIZZA!" Freddy yelled.

"NOT THE PIZZA!" Chica screamed.

"YES THE DAMN PIZZA!"

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Chica screamed.

"OH SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS! It's not funny!" Bonnie rolled his eyes.

Suddenly their good friend Puppet drove by in his black and white muscle car. He stopped and got out to greet them.

"Hello there children." Puppet said.

"Hey Nette." They all said at once.

"What's gonna be for lunch today Nette?" Foxy asked.

"The usual, pizza of course, with a side of french fries, or even burgers and hot dogs." Nette explained.

"Nice, nothing can go wrong today." Bonnie smirked.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Foxy growled.

"Anyways, did you kids see the alien spaceship last night?" Nette asked.

Bonnie's jaw dropped to the ground.

"Yeah Bonnie saw it, and they took him onto their ship!" Freddy said.

"Woah, the same aliens that are evil cupcakes bent on taking all our pizza?" Nette asked.

"WHAT?" Bonnie gasped.

"YEP!" Foxy nodded.

"Then if you're still alive, no doubt they gave you anal probe!" Nette crossed his arms.

"What's that?" Foxy asked.

"It's this large metal device they stick up your ass, not very comfortable." Nette looked nervous.

"HAHAHAHA! Cupcakes stuffed your ass with metal!" Foxy teased.

"I bet it was a large pole!"

"Or a fan!"

"Or metal pizza dough."

"Or even-"

"SHUT UP! NOTHING IS IN THIS PURPLE FURRY ASS! NOW KNOCK IT OFF!" Bonnie screamed at them.

"Well I better get going, be careful Bonnie." Nette said.

After he left, the three were still teasing Bonnie.

"Bonnie got stuffed! Bonnie got stuffed!" Freddy teased.

"I wonder how much!" Chica wondered.

"It couldn't be too much, the lad's already got so much for being himself." Foxy said.

"THAT TEARS IT!"

Bonnie tackles Foxy to the ground where a brief scuffle ensues before Freddy pulls them apart.

"GET IT TOGETHER! Besides the bus is here!" Freddy said.

The bus arrives and the bus driver opens the door to reveal Jeremy Fitzgerald who did not look happy, more like tired. He even had bags under his eyes.

"Good morning Mr. Fitzgerald." Freddy said.

"SIT DOWN WE'RE RUNNING LATE!" Jeremy growled.

The four sat down in the back and the bus takes off almost making Foxy slip and fall since he was that last one to sit. As the bus leaves, Freddy looks out the back to see that Golden is sadly standing by the bus stop still.

"Damn it, he's still there!" Freddy face-palmed.

"Don't worry about him then!" Foxy shrugged.

"Dude I'll get in trouble if he's not at home right now. Damn it Golden!" Freddy growled.

"SIT DOWN BACK THERE!" Jeremy yelled.

"Yeah whatever you scrawny little bitch!" Foxy sneered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Jeremy turned around.

"I SAID I HAVE A BAD ITCH!" Foxy yelled.

"Oh."

"OH MY GOD!" Freddy yelled.

The two turn to see the large alien cupcakes surrounding Golden who was crying.

"GOLDEN!" Freddy yelled.

"WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!" Foxy yelled.

"STOP THE BUS!" Freddy yelled.

He raced to the front of the bus but saw Jeremy's irritated face.

"MR. FITZGERALD! YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS BUS!"

"DO YOU WANT AN OFFICE REFERRAL?"

"No."

"THEN SIT DOWN!"

"BUT-"

Suddenly Jeremy pulls out a little box of chocolate bears and takes a bite out of one.

"How do you like that?" Jeremy smirked.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Freddy raced back to his seat in fear and was panting.

"We really need to do something." Freddy panted.

"Well we would, but that scrawny little bitch won't let us!" Foxy growled.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Jeremy yelled.

"I SAID GOTTA GO FAST!" Foxy yelled.

"Oh, well yes we certainly do!"

Jeremy then takes a hard right throwing everyone onto the left side.

"Hey Bonnie, those were the same aliens you saw right?" Foxy asked.

"IT WAS JUST A DREAM! CAN'T WE DROP IT?"

"NO!"

"WHY?"

"BECAUSE PLOT!"

"Well yeah that's true."

"PIZZA!" Chica randomly said.

"Who else but Chica?" Freddy chuckled.

And everyone including Chica laughed. At school, Freddy still worried about Golden as he didn't even pay attention to the 5th grade teacher Mike Schmidt who was talking about some math problems. Chica and Bonnie were writing down some notes but Foxy was getting annoyed by Freddy's worrying.

"Oh man, I can't believe all of this is happening! I mean, I'm a good kid, I'm always a good kid. But this is just unacceptable. I don't know what to do, he's out there all alone, possibly being tortured by those cupcakes. You know I love cupcakes but these ones are just evil. And if my parents find out, they'll be saying stuff like 'Where is your brother Freddy?', 'You're not supposed to leave alone Freddy', 'You've shown disrespect Freddy', 'WHERE'S THAT PISTOL YOU KEEP IN YOUR HAT FREDDY!'"

"DUDE!" Foxy gasped.

"Um Freddy does there seem to be a problem?" Mike asked getting annoyed.

"Yeah, some aliens kidnapped my little brother." Freddy exclaimed.

Mike and the rest of the students just stared at Freddy like was crazy, some human, some anthros.

"Not this again." Bonnie grumbled to Chica.

"IT'S TRUE! ASK BONNIE! THEY GAVE HIM AN ANAL PROBE!" Freddy pointed to him.

Everyone turns to Bonnie who blushes and gives Freddy a death stare.

"No that never happened! It was just a little joke!" Bonnie laughed it off.

Suddenly a large blast of fire shot out of his ass alarming everyone.

CHOOF!

"AUGH!" Bonnie screamed.

"DAMN BONNIE!" Foxy yelled.

Bonnie keeps farting fire and it grows scorching several desks behind him. Some jump away from their desks.

Chica's paper was burnt only a bit but she still smacked Bonnie on the back of the head.

"OW! I can't help it!" Bonnie whined.

"Bonnie do you need to go sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control?" Mike asked with annoyance.

"Nah I'm good."

CHOOF!

"UGH!" Bonnie screams.

Suddenly the fire caught onto a human's shirt and the kid started screaming and rolling on the floor.

"Oh chill out it's just fire!" Bonnie groaned.

At lunch, Freddy was still figuring out a way for them to ditch school while they waited in line. Anthros and humans were happily getting their food and sitting down at the tables to chat. Bonnie of course was behind the other three as they didn't want to get burned. Chica of course was in front of the group eager to dig into some pizza.

"I'm so hungry!" Chica said.

"Aren't we all, but seriously we need to get out of here and find my little brother." Freddy said.

"Maybe Nette can help us, he's the chef here after all." Foxy shrugged.

CHOOF!

"AUGH NOT AGAIN!" Bonnie growled.

"Dude that fire needs to get under control!" Freddy said.

"I'm fine damn it! Leave me alone about that, nothing happened! No cupcakes, no kidnapping, and certainly no probing." Bonnie crossed his arms.

"Believe what you want!" Freddy face-palmed.

"Hey Foxy's there goes Chica's sister Chi." Bonnie said.

"WHAT WHERE?"

Foxy moved them out of the way to see a bright yellow chicken coming their way wearing a white shirt with the words 'LET'S PARTY!' written on it, and some blue short jeans. She also had three long feathers sticking up on her head and wore purple eye-shadow and light pink blush. On her tray was a burger and some french fries. Foxy just stood their blushing and a smile stretched unusually large up his face. Bonnie liked to tease him about it.

"Foxy and Chi, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Bonnie teased.

"SHUT UP PURPLE FUCK I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER!" Foxy growled.

"Yes you do, and it's obvious because you throw up every time she talks to you." Bonnie said.

"You're lucky Chi doesn't mind that." Freddy said.

"HE'S LUCKY I DON'T WHOOP HIS ASS FOR DOING IT!" Chica growled at the fox.

"Um...right."

Chi comes over smiling.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Chi." They all said.

Chi hands Freddy her tray so she could grab something from inside her shirt.

"Hey Foxy, this is for you!" Chi said.

She handed him a folded up note and took her tray. But Foxy suddenly takes the note and throws up. His throw up, knocks into Chi's beak knocking it onto her tray, Chica gets ready to pound Foxy but Chi laughs. Her beak was removable and without it, her eyes go black with white centers and her mouth is revealed to have razor sharp teeth.

"Oh it always happens, anyways I'll see you later." Chi said.

"Bye Chi." They all said.

"Dude what does the note say?" Freddy asked.

"Swiggity Swooty! It says she wants to meet me at the lake behind Fredbear's Family Diner tonight." Foxy says.

"Maybe you can finally kiss her!" Freddy shrugged.

"Tell her a pirate tale." Bonnie said.

"Or get pounded if you hurt her feelings." Chica said.

The others just looked at Chica who had a wicked grin on her beak. They four suddenly burst into laughter but Chica balls her sharp talons into fists and growls.

"I'm serious."

Moving on, the four finally get up to the food where Nette is happily putting food on trays.

"Hello there children." Nette waves.

"Hey Nette, we need some help!" Foxy's said.

"What's the problem?" Nette asked.

"Well ya see-"

CHOOF! WHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Suddenly after another blast of fire, a strange metal device extended out of Bonnie's ass and rose up forcing Bonnie to bend to the side. It was shaped like a bunny but had one eye like a cyclops. It looked at the four curiously with his hands on his hips.

"Whoa." Freddy said.

"Um Bonnie do you see that?" Foxy said.

"See what?"

"LOOK AT YOUR ASS!" Freddy yelled.

"Nope."

"Ugh." Foxy and Freddy groan.

"Can we have that pizza now?" Chica asked.

Nette's eye-holes just grew in horror at the thing. The metal bunny-like thing then retracts back inside Bonnie's ass.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Foxy shouted.

"What's so awesome about picking up food?" Bonnie asked.

"I guess that's the device I was talking about. Maybe there's even more, like a signal." Nette said.

"They also took Freddy's baby brother!" Foxy said.

"WHAT?"

Nette dropped the tray he was putting food on and ran around the counter.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU 4 DOING EATING PIZZA! GO FIND HIM DAMN IT!" Nette roared.

"There's no way we can skip school!" Freddy panicked.

Nette raced over and pulled the fire alarm.

"FIRE DRILL! FIRE DRILL! EVERYONE OUTSIDE!" Nette yelled.

A few minutes later, the four were on their way over to Fredbear's Family Diner to discuss a plan, unfortunately the boys had to deal with an enraged Chica who didn't get her pizza.

"Come on Chica we at least got out of school." Freddy said.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE! YOU MADE ME MISS LUNCH!" Chica snarled.

CHOOF!

"AUGH!" Bonnie groaned.

"How many more times of that?" Foxy asked.

"NOTHING IS WRONG!" Bonnie snarled.

"Maybe they're signalling from that device in his ass." Freddy wondered.

"I WAS NEVER KIDNAPPED, PROBED, OR UNDER CONTROL!"

Suddenly a beam shot from space hits Bonnie and a pirate hat and eye-patch appear on him before he starts singing and dancing.

"DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE! YOU ARE A PIRATE! YAR HAR FIDDLE DI DEE, BEING A PIRATE IS ALRIGHT WITH ME! DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE! YOU ARE A PIRATE!"

The ray hits him again and he reverts back to normal. The other three just stand there stunned, especially Foxy!

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Foxy yelled.

"THAT PROBE IS LINKED UP TO THE ALIENS!" Freddy yelled.

"NOT THAT, THIS LANDLUBBER STOLE MY FAVORITE SONG!" Foxy snarled.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Bonnie roared.

"AND HE FORCED ME TO LEAVE LUNCH!" Chica yelled.

"OH BLAME ME FOR NO REASON!" Bonnie growled.

"Alright everybody just calm the fuck down." Freddy said.

"NO!" They yelled.

Out of anger, Bonnie smacked Freddy in the nose causing it to squeak. Freddy rubs his nose, a bear growl escaping his throat.

"Oh...I see how it is."

About 3 seconds later the four were locked in a brawl with each other, punching, kicking and yelling. But their scuffle is halted when an alien spaceship arrives.

"LOOK THERE IT IS!" Foxy yelled.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" Freddy yelled.

He tossed a rock at it hitting the ship, only for the ship to fire at them blasting Chica into the street nearby. She screamed as she hit the road with a thud.

"OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED CHICA!" Foxy yelled.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Freddy yelled.

Quickly, the ship begins to leave while Freddy yells at it.

"DAMN IT! WE WERE SO CLOSE!" Freddy stomped his foot.

"HEY LOOK! I THINK CHICA'S OKAY!" Foxy shouted.

Chica was getting up and waved to them.

"HEY GUYS I'M ALRIGHT!" Chica yelled.

Suddenly a strange tire comes barreling toward her and smacks her in the chest knocking her down and the others winced.

"OOooh." The boys groan.

But Chica gets right back up.

"Nope, I'm just fine!" Chica smiled.

But then the out of control car that the tire came from heads towards her and she's sent tumbling over the car and onto the other side of the road, the driver was dead. And now it seemed that Chica was dead too. The boys race over.

"Wow...poor Chica. How are we gonna explain this to Chi?" Foxy said.

"Now do you believe us Bonnie." Freddy asked.

"Nope."

"BONNIE! THEY KILLED CHICA!"

"SHE'S NOT DEAD!"

"SHE IS DEAD! LOOK!"

Freddy kicks Chica.

"SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS!" Bonnie growled.

"Fine I'll prove it." Foxy readies his hook.

"No need." Freddy said.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME!" Bonnie said.

"FINE GO HOME YOU BIG-EARED ASSHOLE!"

"BITE ME!"

Freddy and Foxy looked at each other.

"Well it's just us now, we need to figure out a plan." Freddy said.

"Sorry dude, I got a date remember. See ya!" Foxy runs out.

"FUCK!" Freddy snarled.

Suddenly he hears Chica groaning, she was still alive.

"Chica you okay?" Freddy asked.

"I'm...gonna...hack you...into...pieces...when I...GET UP!" Chica growled.

"I see...BYE!"

Freddy runs off just as Chica gets on her knees. That night, Foxy arrived at the lake behind Fredbear's Family Diner where Chi was waiting.

"Hey Foxy."

Foxy throws up to the side of her.

"EW!" Chi yelps.

"Sorry. But yeah I'm excited." Foxy smiles.

"Dude what was with this angry text I got from Chica, you three just left her?" Chi asked.

"Uh no, Bonnie was being an asshole and Chica wanted to be left alone, so Bonnie dragged us away. It's crazy, but it has nothing to do with me." Foxy lied.

"Alright then, by the way, I saw some alien spaceship also. You know anything about it?" Chi asked.

"Actually yes, ye see Bonnie got kidnapped by aliens last night and they gave him an anal probe, it's somehow linked with the cupcake aliens. Also they kidnapped Freddy's baby brother."

"Interesting, but don't you think we should go help fix this?"

"Should we?"

"DUDE!"

"What?"

Chi takes off her beak showing off her creepy appearance.

"You wanna get me mad?"

Foxy gulped when Chi advanced on him with her sharp talons clenched into tight fists.

"NOPE! NOPE! LET'S GO!" Foxy dragged her to recruit Freddy.

Bonnie was watching TV in his living room when the doorbell rang. Opening it he sees the three and groans.

"Now what?" Bonnie growled.

"We need you to help lure the aliens down so we can get Golden." Chi said.

"You too? UGH, look you fake-beak creeper!"

"FAKE-BEAK CREEPER?" Chi looked offended.

"Uh...I mean."

Chi then takes off her beak.

"Foxy...hold my beak."

Foxy does so before Chi tackles Bonnie into the house and shuts the door. Foxy and Freddy just listen as Chi beats up Bonnie, when she was satisfied, she pulled him out and Freddy and Foxy had him bound and gagged. Bonnie ended up with a black eye and messed up fur. Chi happily put her beak back on.

"You good?" Freddy asked.

"I'm feeling a lot better, now let's go!" Chi said.

Back over at the lake, the gang had tied Bonnie to a tree and decided to hide behind a large log. They of course ignored Bonnie's complaining even after removing the tape from his mouth.

"GUYS I NEED TO GET HOME!" Bonnie screamed.

"Too bad! We need to save my brother!" Freddy said.

"Yeah quit being a poor sport." Foxy said.

"Is he always like this?" Chi asked.

"It's a nightmare." Foxy sighed.

"How come the aliens are not coming?" Freddy asked.

"Maybe Bonnie needs to fart some more! GO ON BONNIE, FART SOME MORE!" Foxy shouted.

"NO!" Bonnie shouted.

"DO IT NOW! FART DAMN YOU!" Freddy snarled.

Bonnie loses his temper completely fed up with the situation...again.

"THAT DOES IT! I'M SICK OF HEARING STUFF COMING IN AND OUT OF MY ASS! IT'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING! I AM SICK OF ALL OF THIS SHIT! IT'S COMPLETELY IMMATURE AND IT WILL STOP RIGHT-"

CHOOF! WWWWWHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Suddenly the device extended out again, but this time is morphed into a massive satellite aimed upwards and shoots a beam into the sky. Freddy, Foxy and Chi were in shock. How could all of this fit inside Bonnie's ass? Then again, aliens can do anything.

"Whoa, that thing is huge!" Freddy said.

"This has to get the alien's attention. HEY BONNIE! NOW DO YOU BELIEVE US! THERE'S A HUGE SATELLITE DISH STICKING OUT OF YOUR ASS!" Foxy pointed up.

"You guys are just trying to fool me, I'm not looking!" Bonnie refused.

But suddenly the arrival of several spaceships got his attention and especially the others, they were all scared wondering what they were going to do. Suddenly the three large cupcakes that kidnapped Bonnie and Golden before appeared in front of the other three. They were bigger than the three with their large arms ending in razor sharp claws and large feet, all made out of icing. The leader looked like a nightmarish dark pink cupcake with sharp teeth, glowing red eyes and a spiked candle. The one on the left was a regular pink with blue eyes and a shorter candle and the one on the right was a lighter pink with light blue eyes and a short candle. Foxy nudged Freddy nervously.

"Go on Freddy ask them for your little brother back." Foxy asked.

Freddy nervously took off his hat and breathed heavily, this was going to be rather difficult.

"Um, aliens...earlier you took my little brother Golden, he's basically the golden version of me. Look he may be very annoying to the point I just like to kick him, and maybe I did want some harm to come to him, but I've come to realize that he just wants to be by my side, plus he loves me and looks up to me. I don't want to let him down anymore, and so if you can find it in your hearts, or whatever you have, to give him back to me, it'd really make me feel a lot better." Freddy finished his speech.

Foxy and Chi were on the verge of crying.

"That was beautiful dude." Foxy wiped a tear.

"Did it work?" Freddy asked.

"Nope they're leaving." Chi broke the news.

This sent Freddy on a rage and he threw his hat at the leader, forcing them to turn around again, this time pissed off, but Freddy was ready.

"HEY YOU ICING-FILLED SHITS! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM IGNORING MY REQUEST AFTER THAT AMAZING SPEECH! YOU MUST BE SOME FUCKING ASSHOLES TO DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT!"

"WHOA DUDE!" Foxy gasped.

"I BET YOUR KIND IS STUPID EVERYDAY WHEN YOU JUST GO AROUND AND ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** ALL THE WAY TO ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** MATRIX WEARING ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** MUSHROOM KINGDOM ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** IBLIS TRIGGER ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** POYO * **BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** CHAOS CONTROL ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** KA-CHOW ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE * **BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** MEWTWO ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** SCOTT CAWTHON ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** AND I KNOW FOR DAMN WELL SURE THAT ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*** DOES NOT BEND THAT WAY!"

Everyone was just completely dumbfounded after that speech, even the cupcakes. Foxy had to nudge Chi.

"Hey Chi, what was that last one, a ***BLEEEEEEEEEEP*** "

Chi just looked at him and blushed. Then the cupcakes growled.

"WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TALK TO US IN THAT MANNER!" The nightmarish cupcake roared.

"DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" Chi growled.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT ANTHROS!"

The cupcakes and the anthros got ready for a brawl.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"RRRRAAAAWWWWRRRRRR!"

Bonnie could barely see what was going on behind that log since he was a bit far away. All he could see was Freddy's hat, Foxy's eye-patch and Chi's beak being tossed up in the air, and icing splattering all over the place.

"ARE THEY HAVING A CUPCAKE PARTY WITHOUT ME?" Bonnie growled.

Suddenly a new spaceship arrived and the main door opened revealing Golden and...Chica?

"Hey guys!" Chica waved.

The brawl halted when they hear her voice. Chica jumps down off the ship and lands gracefully with Golden.

"GOLDEN!" Freddy yelled.

Golden bounced over to Freddy who scooped him up in his arms and hugged him. Foxy and Chi race over to Chica.

"How did you survive and how did you get in there?" Chi asked panicked.

"Oh it turns out the only reason the aliens are here is because they were looking for a good cook to make them something other than candy to eat, and so they kidnapped Golden and eventually me. In return for helping them, they would patch me up and give back Golden if I made them something. Turns out now they love pizza, I made them at least 100 pizzas." Chica explained.

The others were a little dumbfounded and looked at the cupcakes who shrugged the best they could.

"So...did they probe you?" Foxy asked.

"No, why would they?"

"...Nevermind..."

"Wait so they only probed Bonnie so they could study us and eventually they found you?" Freddy asked.

"Exactly...they just needed someone that was a total asshole to his friends...speaking of Bonnie, they need him back." Chica said.

"Why?" Chi asked.

"The device malfunctioned causing him to fart fire, they need to fix that. Oh and he's got to keep it forever."

The spaceship suddenly lifts up and floats over Bonnie and starts to suck him up.

"NO! WAIT! GUYS SAVE ME! HELP ME! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Bonnie screams as he is lifted into the ship and the cupcakes thank Chica and board their ship before blasting off into space.

"Well...I guess tha'ts that! I'll see you tomorrow Foxy." Freddy said.

"See ya, and make sure Golden stays home this time!" Foxy said.

Golden hid a devious grin that unfortunately Freddy didn't see. Meanwhile, Chi talked with Foxy.

"Oh Foxy, that was quite an adventure." Chi said.

"I know, thanks for all your help." Foxy blushes.

The two lean in closer to kiss, Foxy thought this was his big moment, but his stomach thought otherwise. Just when their lips and beak were just inches apart, Foxy threw up, but Chi's quick reflexes made her jump out of the way, she laughed.

"Ew dude."

"Sorry."

That's when they noticed what was in the puke on the ground.

"Hey isn't that a pepperoni?" Chi asked.

"Yeah!"

"And that?'

"I think that's a piece of bread."

And so the two went on and on about what Foxy's stomach didn't want anymore, MOVING ON! The next morning, Foxy and Freddy arrived at the bus stop.

"Where are the others?" Freddy asked.

"I don't know, we're running out of friends I guess." Foxy shrugged.

Suddenly Chica and Chi arrived.

"Hey guys." Chica said.

"Oh Hey Chica. Hey Chi why aren't you already on the bus?" Freddy asked.

"Oh the cupcakes came back saying they wanted us to do something for them, no big deal." Chi shrugged.

"So any sign of Bonnie?"

Suddenly Bonnie comes crashing down from the sky, he still had his black eye, and now a few more bruises thanks to the landing.

"Oh there you are Bonnie, just in time for school." Freddy straightened his bowtie.

"Dude what happened to you?" Foxy asked.

"What are you talking about?" Bonnie asked.

"You don't remember?" Freddy asked.

"All I remember is having some crazy nightmare last night."

"Really? What about?" Foxy asked.

"Well, I was standing by the lake behind Fredbear's Family Diner, then there were these scary cupcakes who took me onto their ship where some crazy-ass chickens kept talking about pizza nonstop! God they were so annoying, they even looked just like...uh...oh..."

The boys looked over to see 2 enraged chickens cracking their knuckles. Just then the bus arrives, but when Jeremy opens the door, he's looks a little worried about the chickens.

"Um...is everything-"

Freddy and Foxy jump onto the bus and dash for the back.

"DRIVE!" Freddy yelled.

The bus peeled off leaving Bonnie to get pummeled by Chica and Chi at the bustop. Freddy and Foxy sat in the back seats and sighed.

"Phew, that was close. But won't they be late for class?" Foxy asked.

"We'll just tell Mr. Schmidt that they overslept." Freddy said.

"Fair enough."

"...And that Bonnie fell down the stairs."

"That too! So...your brother stayed home?"

"Of course...there's no way he'd-"

"FWEDDY!"

"..."

"..."

"Did you just hear that?"

"Oh shit."

Suddenly Golden came out from under one of the seats and leaped at them with a wide grin.

"GIVE ME HUGGIES FAZZY!"

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 _ **THE END**_

* * *

 _ **And that about covers it! My FNAF version of the very first episode of South Park, "Cartman Gets An Anal Probe". Of course some stuff were changed and even the title. I did not want it to have the same title, so I thought of something sillier...at least I thought it was. Anyways with this done and out of the way and get to move on! Until next time, KINGSTRIKER OUT!**_


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